Want to know what cabin fever looks like?

The temp is currently this:


And Connor doesn't think much of being cooped up inside. We have no clothes for children at this temp for the very good reason that no one thinks that you're crazy enough to take children outside in these temps. Well, you go a little stir crazy being cooped up for so long...ummm, right, Connor?




Cross dressing takes up a little time...



Oh no, Timmy's trying to swallow his fist out of boredom! Oh wait, that's just a regular Tuesday!



And the cabin fever spreads to the adults...



Since the forecast calls for -60 and below this weekend, we'll have many more opportunities to find out just how wacky we all can get. If you hear something about naked people running through subarctic streets waving asparagus, that was NOT US!

14 days...

...until Charlie leaves for Baghdad.

'm not whining...we've done this enough, both of us, to know that a deployment isn't the end of the world. I'm just sad and sorry I guess. I always miss him when he's gone, no matter if it's for a few hours or years. And I am very sorry that he's going to miss so much with the kids. He'll miss Connor's 3rd birthday, the second he's missed in a row. He'll miss the first day of preschool and swim lessons. He'll miss Timmy sitting up, crawling and maybe even walking for the first time. And I'm going to miss my home. I love my family very much and am very grateful they're willing to let me come and disrupt them for six months. But at the same time, it's not *my* family in the sense that we are complete there...it's not my house, it's not my life...not without Charlie. We're just pushing pause where we can til daddy comes home. Yet slowly, inexorably, children grow up despite our best efforts. What a beautiful yet terrible sacrifice we make. How very lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my life to mitigate the worst of another absence from my best friend.

I wonder sometimes if anyone who hasn't been there done that can truly understand what it's like to be on this treadmill of part time fathers, husbands, mothers and wives. I hope we do the right thing in Iraq and Afghanistan, so that none of this was in vain. I think about how many of us across the nation are spending tears on absences that are not of our choice, loving those who can't love us back the way we need because they're called to higher things and have to leave us behind, and I'm torn between pride and mourning. That's all we can do really -- smile and wave goodbye as our hearts ache. I hope I have the bravery to let him go with a smile.

Cold snap, Alaska-style

Alaska is a formidable place. As my girlfriend Breanne says, "People were NOT meant to live here." We've descended into a real winter wonderland nightmare this week with the temperatures plunging down to -40 and below and likely to stay there for several weeks. These kind of temps are just PAINFUL. Both literally and figuratively. Can you go out in it? Umm yeah. Should you? Ummm, no.

Especially when you've got small children. Unfortunately, small children are also the primary sufferers of cabin fever. Connor is extremely active -- during the summer we did not come indoors ever if we could help it -- and staying inside all day every day is not his idea of fun filled toddler days. No matter how nicely we kit out the basement (and it is pretty gucci if I say myself) eventually he will get bored and need some variety. But businesses and such close at these temps and even scuttling place to place takes a toll on a three month old. Sigh.

Think of us all trapped inside by a vicious toothy cold...

Christmas Extravaganza!!!

Connor woke up at 630 this morning and whispered to us for the next half hour about "kissmas" and "Kanka Cause" -- he muttered about toys and "pessents" while we vainly tried to get him back to sleep for another hour. He even resorted to bribery, offering us "tuddles" and "tisses" if we'd let him get up and see "Kanka." We finally gave up at 7 and told him we could go downstairs and see if Santa Claus came and left toys for him.

And boy, did Santa (and family!) come through...here's a picture of his chair draped in Santa presents.



He got a stocking stuffed full of animal figures -- Alaska and sealife ones, primarily -- and some chocolate coins, a big M&M full of little ones, a flute, and a penguin Pez dispenser. Thanks to Nani for some of those treats!



He got a camera of his very own from Santa. How does Santa know what you really want? He is kneeling in front of mommy's old dollhouse that we got out of storage...we took out all the chokables and left big furniture pieces. His animal presents have already taken up residence -- I think it would be very startling for his playmobil people to discover polar bears in the bathroom, but that's apparently where they belong. Sigh...the "free" toy is his favorite, I think!



Connor got this bowling set from Aunt Angela...basement bowling for everyone!



Here he is trying to pry the lid off the animal tube. No time to wait when there's starfish to be played with!



Now he's munching on his egg and toast daddy made for breakfast, playing with his automated bulldozer and watching Thomas videos (another gift from Uncle Davey and Aunt Christal!). He's already got plans to crack into the playdoh ice cream shoppe from Christal and Davey, and he's got a stack of movies (Horton Hears a Who, Toy Story, on and on) to watch. Add in mommy and daddy's gift of Candyland and it's going to be a full Christmas day.

Timmy slept through all of the Christmas festivities and was much more interested in nursing and chewing on his fists than his presents. He did get into a staring contest with the bear Uncle Davey and Aunt Christal got for him -- the bear won. He loves this funky little ball Nani sent him that has little arms all over it...he can grab and chew to his heart's content and he loves to stare at the star on the side.

Christmas Cookies!

We decorated cookies Monday for Santa...Connor thinks Santa is brilliant -- toys AND cookies!? This guy has got the gig! We made lots of sugar cookies with heart and star cookie cutters, and then the boys decorated them with blue, green and white icing.



Connor loves jimmies, and mommy had seven different kinds of Christmas jimmies...oh, the excitement!



When I'm making cookies or cakes or anything yummy, Connor stands on the little kitchen ladder and excitedly begs to "taste! Taste!" every few seconds. Didn't take him long to "taste!" the frosting.



Timmy slept through Christmas cookie fun, but woke up for a mass tasting and watched us all enjoy them from his bumbo. He thinks three month olds should get to gnaw on sugar cookies too, hence the woebegone expression.


We should be one of Santa's first stops since we're so close to his house in North Pole! Stand by for Christmas excitement tomorrow!

Happy Solstice!

Winter solstice is pretty much a non event for most people...shortest day of the year? Bring on the party hats, right? But when you live in the subarctic regions, it means that you have FINALLY reached the point where the days can't get any shorter and the daylight pendulum will swing the other way.

I took some pictures to illustrate the subarctic "day" here. This was the view from the back porch when the sun came up at 10:59 am:



Here is 12:49 pm, which is solar noon, the time of day at which the sun reaches the highest elevation in the sky; as you can see, not much difference between dawn and noon!

And lastly, I missed sunset at 2:49 pm with an ill timed nap with the baby, so I instead took a picture of the end of civil twilight. This was taken at 3:26 pm.


And now as I write this 3:40 something, it is full dark outside. No wonder we're all hibernating up here!

What a crazy few days...

It has been nothing but go, go, go at the Freel house for the past few days. Thursday morning my friend Emily called to tell me that my next door neighbor and our mutual friend Beth had gone into labor and was having an emergency c section. Besides that being bad news for anyone, Beth was only thirty weeks pregnant with twins, so lots of concern and angst spread across the base as the news got out. Emily tackled caring for Beth's little boy and then we cruised down to the hospital to check on her.

Amazingly, the babies were a very good size...well over 3 lbs and doing extremely well, considering the circumstances.

Her husband Rich and the twins were life flighted to Anchorage shortly after her c section -- no one here in the Interior has the resources to care for babies that small and early, but that left poor Beth here to recover as well as she could and fly down on Saturday.

Friday Emily and I blitzed her house and took care of laundry and baby care, then Saturday Charlie and I packed up the kids and drove to Fairbanks to pick Beth up so she could pack for her flight to Anchorage later in the day. She can only lift 7-8 lbs after a c section and was having difficulty moving around, so I stayed at the house and helped her get things together, get her some yummy lunch, pump one last time before her flight and all those various getting out of town duties. Her son was VERY happy to see her and didn't want mommy to go away again, but he was okay after some good snacks and playtime with Connor. He was going to sleep at our house last night, because Emily and Ethan had a work social last night...but then Ethan fell on the ice holding their 4 month old Jack on Sat afternoon, and they spent the day at the ER getting the baby checked, so they decided to stay in at Beth's house and watch the children there. It was probably best for Luke to be in a familiar situation with all the disruption he's had lately, though Connor was disappointed at missing out on a sleepover. Rich is coming home tomorrow to take over watching Luke while Beth stays in Anchorage with the twins...thank goodness her mom is coming to look after Beth. She needs to just focus on getting better and looking after her tiny boys.

When you add in Charlie's multiple reports and award write ups he is crunching out for the end of the year, deployment preparations, our own squadron holiday party for which a three layer red velvet cake was required, and the demands of my own house and children AND Christmas prep, I am very tired. We all agreed to stay in today and sack out watching Christmas movies and making sugar cookies for Santa. I don't think any of us are even going to get out of pjs today. I hope the rest of the week is relaxing in comparison.

Subarctic Living Questions answered

I get lots of questions about living up here. So I thought I might spend a few minutes answering some of them...Alaska is a very cool place to live and explore, but it is a lot different than places many have lived, and indeed, very different from Southern California where I grew up.

1. How do you cope with the crazy cold temperatures?

I get this question a lot from fascinated relatives and friends. There's many ways we cope...for one, people up here are prepared for many feet of snow, ice, etc and the subzero temps for months out of the year. LOTS of snowplows. No slating the roads, because salt doesn't work when it's damn cold to work, so everything is gravelled. We all have several choices of coats dependent on the weather and everyone has several choices of mitten thickness, hat cover, scarves, etc. Our arctic entryway is crammed full of warm clothing, as is the trunk of the car. You time things carefully - I personally try not to take the children out below -20 and for any sustained time if it's below -5. Timmy is just too young to be outside for long periods of time no matter how bundled up.

We both have snow and all terrain tires. I also have an auto start...an electronic remote that starts the car from a good distance away and so the car warms before I have to put the kids in super cold car seats. Timmy has an extra blanket bungee corded to his seat to keep him extra warm. I always sling Timmy to my body and use the Peekaru baby vest over us both. Only his head sticks out of the vest and I can wrap my coat around and keep him pretty warm. Connor always wears a hat and parka and some of the time we add mittens to that. If he goes ice fishing or playing at the ice parks, we add long johns and snow pants to that. I also have a big pile of chemical handwarmers for everyone's pockets when we're out in the wicked cold for an extended period.

And because just a few minutes outside in the cold unprotected can have serious health implications, we have survival kits in the vehicles. Kitty litter to make traction in icy conditions, flares, matches, packaged food, water, etc. We also have mounds of subzero temp socks -- they work great for layering on extremities. It was brought home to us recently how dangerous it is...a guy in Salcha was woken up by a house fire and was able to escape with only socks on. It was -35, he was outside for only 20 minutes but there's a very good chance he's going to lose a good part of his feet to frostbite.

Like anything, you just get used to it. I regularly walk to the post office box at -10 with just a sweater and vest. It would be a rude shock to go back to Las Vegas...70 is gasping hot here!

2. What's different about living in Alaska?

Well, it's a weird hybrid of living overseas and living in the United States. It costs more (I paid $9.99 for a small watermelon! $5 for half gallon of milk! $2.50 for gas!) and shipping/shopping here is weird -- we don't have some of the stores most Americans would consider essential like Target, no Olive Garden, etc. We do have some box stores like Wal-Mart, but not many.

The attitude is a little different down here too. We refer to the "Lower 48" a lot and have a fairly condescending attitude toward those less hardy souls that don't want to live here.

No trash pick up at our houses to avoid attracting bears and wolves. NEVER thought I'd live somewhere the predators are actually animals, and not just humans with no soul or scruples, but there it is. A couple months ago, three bears broke into a guy's garage in Salcha and ate 60 lbs of frozen salmon and moose meat in his deep freezer. Break ins in Vegas were a VERY different type I tell you!

Okay I've got a toddler yelling for letter games, a baby rousing from a nap, and three more loads of laundry to do...I must h1ie myself off to fulfill motherly duties!

What fun to be Way Up North!

When your day looks like this:



There's really nothing to do but build a couch fort!



And make your little brother laugh by doing weird contortions in said fort...



And have you both frustrate mommy with not allowing any pictures of you two being goofs and laughing your butts off when the camera is NOT on you.



But finally the baby cracks and gives mommy one last goofy smile before cocoa and naps all around!

Gratuitous Timmy Post

Timmy got to play in Connor's old jumperoo today...he can't bounce yet, but boy, he loved hanging and staring at the beads. We have to watch Connor so he doesn't launch Timmy into the stratosphere...




And he was so cute in his sleep sack Kellie bought him I had to snap a pic...

Connor met Santa in North Pole!

We decided to hie ourselves down to Christmas in Ice at Santa Claus' house in North Pole. It was a beautiful day and pretty warm (somewhere around 0 F) so we bundled up the boys to play in the ice and snow. Since the ice park is part of Santa Claus' compound, we decided to see if Santa was taking a break from making toys long enough to hear Connor's wish list for Christmas this year. He was out when we arrived at 2 pm, so we promised Connor we would come back after visiting the reindeer and playing at the ice park.

Dasher and Blitzen were out in the paddock for Connor to visit.


People carve this big smooth ice bowls...children can sit in them and dads can spin them around like chilly tops.


There were five ice slides of varying heights, but this was the screaming Castle of Doom slide. It was probably 75 feet long total, and had quite the steep incline. The first few slides, Connor had his eyes closed tight, but by the last few he was laughing in utter glee. He'd get down to the bottom and stumble around laughing, saying "WHOA!!!" I tried to take a picture of them coming down but my shutter speed is not fast enough for the whirling speed!



Santa came out of the reindeer barn just as Connor was coming back to the house to visit him. We thought Connor's eyes were going to pop out his head as Santa called out, "Ho, ho, ho!" He hopped right up on Santa's lap but was too shy to say what he wanted for Christmas, despite Santa offering a candy cane to loosen his lips. Mrs Claus oohed and ahhed over Timmy and promised him something special for Christmas too. Connor didn't want to leave, but Santa promised he would make it Christmas Eve to give Connor special toys, so we said thank you and waved bye bye!


We left just after 3 pm...which is well after sunset here this time of year. But I caught a beautiful moonrise from Santa Claus' front step. You can see why he lives here...it's awfully pretty!

Christmas Pics!

Connor loved decorating the tree this year. He liked it okay last year, but this year...whew! We showed him where Santa lives in North Pole, we explained what Santa does and that we have to decorate a tree so Santa knows we are ready for him to come and deliver presents. So we dove into it enthusiastically! It's very convenient for North Pole to be just a few short miles away so he can really internalize Christmas -- there's reindeer and an ice park with elves right outside the Santa Claus House.



Timmy was less enthused but really enjoyed staring in wonderment at the lit tree.



This one really has nothing to do with Xmas but it was too painfully cute to pass up posting.

Starfall.com should win a kiddie pulitzer

Connor and I stumbled on Starfall.com through this site. I was looking for some simple toddler computer games with at least a modicum of educational flavor so I could show Connor some computer basics while learning things at the same time.

Connor and I floated around several sites -- on one we discovered an EXTREMELY annoying animal sounds game that he insisted on playing six zillion times a day -- but once we found the Starfall ABCs game, we were hooked. Connor has known his ABCs forward and backward for several months and can "sing" the ABCs, can recognize his name and 12 other words, etc so I wasn't sure how much if anything he would get out of it at first. Well, I should not be hungry for awhile because I ate my words.

The "game" consists of alphabet letter blocks...click on the selected letter you want to play and it will do animated illustrations of different words as it goes along. Connor can hunt for the letter on the keyboard and press it to make the game advance and use his budding mouse skills to advance it even more. At the end of some of the letters are simple toddler games -- matching, find what doesn't belong, etc that have cool animated celebrations at the end if you win (it's hard not to win in a toddler game). Who doesn't like to have a celebration with lovely ladybugs lifting legs in a dance line? Connor's favorite is the alligator in an apple tree shouting "Awesome!" for sorting capital As and lower case as into their correct apple baskets. Whew that was exhaustingly alliterative!

Connor is learning tons from just a few 10-15 stints a day on Starfall. He's recognizing more words daily and is wanting to read even more than he did before, so he can point out words he knows, like dog and wet. We recently starting structuring it just a tiny bit and selecting one special letter every morning, playing that letter then roaming around the house to find objects that start with that letter, talking about the sound it makes, writing/drawing things on his Magnadoodle with that letter, etc. I've been trying to show him how to write some of the letters, but his motor skills are perhaps just a touch behind to do that quite yet -- our Cs turn into big swooping circles and it frustrates him, so I backed off some on that for a few weeks.

The best part? Connor thinks this all is fabulous fun. Letter games are an enormous treat in our house. We use them as bribes to use the potty correctly, to coerce good behavior while out, even taking letter time away for serious infractions like trying to paint the walls with watercolors. It's DEVASTATING when we get letter time taken away -- though mommy usually later catches us doing something good so she can give it back.

At my friend Brita's suggestion I also incorporated some daily exercise into his letter games. When I'm nursing, and he's bouncing off walls, I'll often ask him to run super fast ("hurry, hurry, big letter emergency!") into the kitchen and fetch me a specific magnetic letter or number off the fridge. I can usually get him ping ponging back and forth 6-10 times before it loses its fun. And then he gets ultra excited to put them back on the fridge because he then earns letter game time. Moms sure are sneaky making this learning stuff fun huh?

Anyway, if you have a toddler interested in computers, check out Starfall.com...you won't be sorry!

Connor's Traumatic Toilet Adventure

We had to go early this morning to get the car fixed, and I told Connor that we could go play basketball at McD's if he was good and patient for me. He was absolutely stellar, sitting quietly and reading books the whole time, so I followed through and stopped at the super snazzy McD's that has a cold weather indoor park on the way home.

He was playing basketball and was kinda crossing his legs and dancing a bit...not surprising since he'd had 8 oz water and 8 oz juice, as well as a cup of chocolate milk since his last pee. We went to the bathroom, he was whining a bit about going potty there (he kept asking for "home toilet") but I told he had to, so he sat down calmly. I held my hand over the auto toilet flusher...he leaned forward to pee and started to wobble so I reached out to steady him with my free hand and must have moved my toilet hand just enough to make it flush. Loudly. Energetically. TWICE!

Connor freaked like you read about. He screamed so hard he turned blue and then purple, and passed out. It couldn't have been more than a few seconds as I was trying to help him off and stop it flushing over and over again, but he passed out as I was trying to get him off while trying not to drop Timmy from the sling. He flipped forward and I caught him an inch from smacking his head on the tile floor. I righted him and he came back to consciousness almost immediately, just in time for the demonic toilet to flush again on his bum. I started to fumble at his pants (stuck on the lip of the seat) to get him off quickly, but as he screamed in terror, he peed -- so I kept him there til he finished. I kept gently smacking him on the cheek to try to keep him from holding his breath long enough to pass out again or hyperventilating. We got him down then and cuddled...poor kid. He was terrified. At least he didn't end up having to get stitches too...I'm so relieved I caught him. He lost the enthusiasm for the basketball park then so we came home and he told daddy about the "angry toilet" when he got home. I really think he thought the thing was mad and trying to hurt him.

He's peed just fine at home since then, so I don't think it was a horrible set back -- after all he's been pee accident free since Nov 13 and I'd love it to stay that way. But I'm wondering if peeing outside the house is going to be frightfully scary for him now. I feel so bad...I was trying so hard to stop anything like that from happening and it was worse than I thought it ever would be. Damn the makers of auto toilets!!!

Thanksgiving 2008

Charlie got home on Monday and Davey and Christal came winging in Tuesday night to spend Thanksgiving with us. We had a blast...Christal brought along tofurkey so she could have a traditional Thanksgiving meal -- I supplemented with vegetarian stuffing, green beans, carrots and mashed potatoes, as well as the meat lovers' turkey and traditional gravy. I made three different kinds of pie -- pumpkin, blueberry and raspberry crumble -- and a big pan of Davey's favorite fudge for a treat.


Thank goodness Christal's arms were available...Timmy was needing cuddles just at the moment mom had to get the dinner pulled together to put on the table.



Davey is looking great these days...that gym time is really paying off!


Connor hung out like a raptor waiting for the food to appear so he could pick and choose what he would eat. He also relocated everyone's silverware to his spot at the table...we're not sure why, but he loves silverware and likes a fork whether he needs one or not.


The next day we went to all see Twilight...I loved the book series and Christal and Davey are obsessed with both the movie and the books (Christal saw it seven times so far I think). My girlfriend Breanne and I shared the books so she came along and we had a great time going to a movie. It's lucky that Timmy is so lax...he slept the entire movie and only threw up on me once. Woo hoo!

Davey and Christal ventured out bravely on Saturday to enjoy some touristy stuff like the Santa Claus House and muskox paddock at the University. They must have brought some warm weather with them because it was above zero every day they were here...and they took it back with them, because it's -22 now and on its way to -35.

Poor Charlie got sick with the black plague the past couple days so we spent today sacking out and putting up Christmas decorations while he recuperated. Stand by for some cute Christmas pics in tomorrow's post.

More Charlie videos!

Yet another way to teach students not to shoot unarmed civilians...

This poor shoot house instructor was posing as an unarmed happy go lucky "hey, what should I have for my morning coffee break, danish or cruller?" civilian guy. That is, until he got popped hard in the torso (those paint bullets hurt, Charlie has got the bruises to prove it) by a team of students for breathing in their training space. Now, usually retribution is more convoluted with the aforementioned punishment in the previous post, but this instructor chooses a more direct (and perhaps more effective?) punitive measure. Watch the instructor whip off the "hapless civilian" face and put on the "avenging angel of paint ball death" costume. Pretty funny...if you're not the guy getting the payback.

Charlie's home! With fun videos!

Charlie came home late late last night...Connor was so excited to see him he ended up having a 2 am party and had a hard time settling back to sleep. Charlie spent a few weeks down in Wyoming getting "Armyfied" -- learning how to clear rooms, shoot people, etc. Considering his enormous distaste for physical exertion and particularly dangerous exertion, he found some of the training enjoyable, like the shoot house. It's funny because there really is no conceivable reason he would ever be on a SWAT team type maneuver storming insurgent houses, but hey...you get to pretend you're a way bigger bad ass than you are in a no harm no foul situation. Well...almost. Charlie has got a couple impressive welts on his arm from the paint bullets. And the video below demonstrates the consequences of shooting unarmed civilians. No war crime tribunal, but pretty humiliating for this team that was made up of very senior enlisted people.

Kid pics

Timmy in his bumbo!





Connor with his "yay, I peed in the potty" cake

Connor pooped on the potty!

I think we have broken down one of the last barriers to potty training...Connor went poo on the potty!!!

Connor's long overdue potty post and other misc

We decided on Sunday to just draw the line and say no more diapers for Connor. Whew. It was rough going for two days -- really, it was beaches of Normandy tough without all the fun shooting to enliven the experience -- but we seem to finally be getting it and relaxing. We've had one pee accident free day so far, and today despite some struggles, he consented to pee before he was dancing in agony and leaking. He's only initiated potty time twice so far with no prompting from mom and dad, but we're hoping that improves too. Poo is another story but I've got some ideas that might help...we're going to go to the store tomorrow and get a few books and a present that he only gets when he puts the poo in the potty. I'm really very proud of his progress, considering I was actually researching just how big diapers go on Sunday...I had a feeling he was going to be packing Huggies for college.

It's hard sometimes mothering a "challenging" child. In his case, he's just too damn smart for his own good, and when you combine that with a streak of stubborn six miles wide, mommy has some rough days as a result. I'm doing my best to see his qualities in the best light and laugh about the *occasionally* mind numbingly annoying things that go along with it.

For instance, he's extremely persistent and never forgets a damn thing. That can suck when he asks for the same thing seven million times without cessation -- at this moment he's dancing around in a circle singing about "cookies, cookies, I...want...cookies...peez!" Rather than get annoyed, I try to remember that that same spirit of persistence is what will make him a real success in life -- too many people give up at the slightest obstacle. Not my kid...if mommy says no to ice cream, well then, he'll grab a broom, wedge it in the freezer handle and then whack the interior of the freezer til ice cream falls out of it eventually. He's a magician at creative solutions and sticking with something once he's committed.

We've always been a touch worried about Connor's speech, but he's really had a verbal explosion lately and it's as I suspected -- there were always some fairly complex thoughts, feelings and emotions going on in that noggin of his. Some of it's a little scary...

When we had cake for his pee accident free day, I gave him a candle on it. He looked up at me and said, "I like fire. Where are you, fire?" I got the lighter down and he said, "Oh there you are fire, come to my party!" So he's a pyro, but he invited the fire to the party!

His favorite tee for the longest time was a ice blue polar bear one. I asked him yesterday if he wanted to wear it. "NO!!!" I was surprised, so rather than chastise him for yelling at me, I just asked why not. He thought for a bit and said, "Poop." Huh? "Bears poop. It's icky, icky!" Allllrighty. He's right, but the concept of bear turds never bothered him before. Maybe the potty training is pushed a little too hard? LOL

Connor does everything his own way. Everyone talks about the Why phase...Connor's is a "why not" phase. Mommy says no, then "why not?" until she feels like drilling a hole in her head just to see if the sensation is different.

Finally, Connor's the only kid in the history of the world that ASKS for shots. We went to the shot clinic to get Timmy's rotavirus vaccine on Wednesday and he jaunted in with me. He saw the candy jars and asked for "tandy." I said no, that candy was only for kids who got shots (we had decided to make his next week so as not to interfere with potty time and let daddy take him). He thought about it and pulled down his pants while saying, "Shot peez!" I just stared at him in disbelief, he got his shot and a lollipop and he walked out with a ten foot tall swagger. Needles are just fine in Connor's world, but don't you dare try to cut his hair!!

Wish we luck as we try to conquer the uphill poop battle!

Timmy's 2 month appt and other things

We packed up for our usual Everest-style expedition to go anywhere and took ourselves off to Timmy's 2 month well-baby appointment. I suspected he was growing apace, but the pediatrician (who we LOVE) confirmed it when she said, "Mommy must be making cream because you are a BIG boy!"

His new stats:

Weight: 14 lbs, 4 oz (gained 5 lbs, 1 oz over birth weight)
Height: 24 inches (gained 2 inches over birth length)
Head: 16.5 inches (gained 1.5 inches over birth circumference)

He also is hitting half of his four month developmental markers and all of his 2-3 month markers. He giggled at her when she tickled his groin during his exam and it surprised her...she said most children don't laugh like Santa Claus and the proverbial bowlful of jelly at this age and said he just must be a happy little man.

He was very sweet and calm while getting his rotavirus vaccine administered. We surprised the ped a bit in electing to get that one. With Connor we delayed all vaccines til 2.5. The intent was to get him vaccinated at 2, but we moved just then and immediately after he became extremely ill. Charlie and I decided after a horrid experience with rotavirus that we would choose to do only that one for Timmy until he too was two years old and then we'd get him going on his shots as we've done for Connor.

Stay tuned for a Connor potty post!

"Call Nanny!"

A week or so ago, for reasons I can't recall now, an exasperated Daddy told Connor that the only person who could boss Mommy was Nanny (mommy's mommy). I think he wanted chocolate milk, I said no, and he tried to appeal to daddy as a higher authority. That daddy explanation got him thinking...if Nanny is the boss of Mommy, that must mean that NANNY is the key to get what he wants!

He loves talking to Nanny anyway...every phone conversation with my mom goes something like this: "Hi mom...no, Connor, mommy's talking...no Connor...no, not 'just one second'...okay, fine, talk to Nanny!" Connor chatters about whatever he's interested in for the moment -- "cicle" for motorcycle, "bock" for box, etc. I have to wrestle him to the ground to get the phone back...after all, Nanny is a favoritest person for both of us.

NOW he brings me the phone unasked whenever I tell him no or give him a timeout and tells me, "Call Nanny! I tell!" For all the world like he's tattling on me! Didn't I outgrow this sort of thing twenty years ago? I refused to let him have a granola bar just now, and he fled for the phone and tried to dial Nanny himself when I refused. God forbid he does learn speed dial anytime soon, because my poor mom is going to get a tattling toddler calling her all the time. Got news for ya, kid...Nanny's going to back mommy up; it's the Mommy Clause of the family contract. We mothers have to stick together!

Here's a Timmy grin to brighten your day!

That is all!

Why you should never trust a quiet toddler

Mommy was nursing Timmy and *thought* Connor was painting at his table. He was quiet...too quiet. Usually art engenders lots of internal monologue for Connor. So as I got up to check on him, he came running helter skelter into the living room, with Chocolate smeared all over his face. Oh nooooooo! Mommy, full of trepidation, ventured into the kitchen to find this:


And here's the culprit unapologetically grinning over the crime. Sigh. Never ever trust a quiet kid!

My son, the Halloween philanthropist

Connor decided about two months ago he wanted to be Elmo for Halloween. Mommy couldn't find a decent costume pattern so I bought one that was billed as super warm so he wouldn't have to wear snow pants AND a parka over it or underneath. He's been wearing it for a month as an Elmo pelt/cape...it is quite warm, so he ran around with just the arms and head on, legs streaming in the Connor generated whirlwind. He ran upstairs daily, asking to "wear Elmo!"

I prepared him for a few days with the standard Trick or Treat line..."tickohteet!" was the closest we got with an "ankh oo!" for "tandy". We talked about it for days, and he seemed really excited. We got him dressed in long undies, jeans, shirt and were about don Elmo when the first trick or treater showed up. And that was IT. Connor thought giving away candy to oddly dressed children was the most fun ever. We offered him a piece to eat; nope, he held it until the next one showed up and gave it the tiny princess in a parka who came to the door. Elmo is lying in a forlorn red fuzzy heap on the couch and Connor is hanging puma like in the window, ready to pounce as children round the corner.

He is at the door before Charlie and I can get up. After two skidding falls in the hallway, he learned that if he grabbed the wall pillar and swung his weight around it he could slingshot down the hall at even greater acceleration with no injury. He flailed wildly into the foyer, candy clutched tightly in each hand, and wrenched the door open to greet the goblins with an exuberant "Hewwo! Tickohteet! One for oo, anudder one for oo...ankh oo, bye!" Charlie and I can hardly help collapsing in giggles every time.

Our child is a freak. What other two year old turns down candy to throw it joyfully into the bags of other children? What other two year old decides that he greatest joy in life is to give things --toys, candy, clothing -- openhandedly to anyone he meets? We have waited and waited for months for the proverbial "mine!" affliction to start, but still no sign of it and meanwhile he's totally tickled to stay inside and dump his favorite candy on other people. He actually carefully picks his favorite ones to give away, as if to say, "Here, these are good, believe ME!" We're not sure if he'll be a Carthusian monk or follow mom and dad into national service or join the Peace Corps; whatever gives him the most selfless thrill I guess! Connor is a giver, no doubt...and his best gift is always joy and laughter for Charlie and me.

Oh and Timmy was adorable in his pumpkin outfit, but had zero interest in the -5 cold wafting in the door, so he cuddled inside with off duty candy parent. Check him below!

Minus 22 this morning...

It is October right???

4th of 4th

My friend Jen tagged me today...I'm fulfilling my tagging karma!

THE RULES: You have to post the 4th picture in the 4th folder in your pictures folder. Then give a brief description before you tag a few others.


Here's mine!



These are our friends April and BJ Fry at our squadron Halloween party in October 2005. This is quintessential Fry humor at its best! I think BJ makes an outstanding naughty nun eh? Of course, my favorite part is the clearly plastic belly showing through.

Amy, Brianna, Sarah and anyone else reading this in the blogosphere, consider youself tagged!

Reason #637 Alaska ain't so bad

Because THIS is something you won't see here.



This is a pic I received in my email of a giant golden orb weaver spider in Australia eating a bird. Yes, a BIRD. That, my friends, is a bad ass spider. The type of spider that would be guaranteed to have some atrociously bad B movie starring John Goodman or Steve Guttenberg developed around it, the kind that would cause me to run shrieking in dog whistle-pitched manner if it were within a mile of me.

We get some spiders of course but most are smaller than your pinky nail and never seem ambitious enough to attack wildlife. We also have no snakes up here, which ranks second behind giant bird eating spiders on my list of "slithery creepy things the world could do without" list. Nine months of winter is almost worth the promise that I will never see a bird being munched by something that should only feature as a smear on my shoe.

Ad for Erinco products

Have you ever thought to yourself, "I need a personal alarm that weighs ten lbs and poops at slightest pretext?" Well, I have got the product for you! This multi featured wonder will also act as an alarm clock (preset for the ever convenient hour of 5 am!), workout device, a laundry generator, and sleep apnea preventer -- after all, if you don't sleep, you don't get sleep apnea! It's BRILLIANT! All for the low low price of 7 hour labor, vaginal tear and price of year 2025 college education...can you believe it??? What a deal! But that's not all...

As an added bonus, we'll throw in the extra snuggles, wiggly smiles and adoring eyes while nursing for FREE! If you call right now, we'll even throw in hugs, "wuv yoo, mommy" declarations and chubby sweet smelling freshly bathed limbs. (May take up to two years for delivery for some bonus items) What are you waiting for? Call now!

Sigh...as tired as I am, I think I'd buy it.

Timmy's Birth Story

I have been wanting to post this...I sometimes think that's there's not enough positive birth stories online and especially home births; they really tend to get bad press and I can't imagine why because once you stay home you almost never go back to the hospital! I've seen lots of births at homes and at hospitals and there was never any doubt as to which I was going to do with either of mine. So here's the story of my wonderful boy's birth!

I had a pretty bad night's sleep the night before...not hugely new, but the rushes keeping me awake felt slightly different this time. I got up with Connor at 715 am, and felt this crazy burst of energy. I cleaned the kitchen up and picked up toys, but kept getting interrupted by bathroom trips with an upset stomach.

I kept putting on shows and movies for Connor because I was having a hard time concentrating on playing with him. At 10, there was a rush that around the underside
of my pelvis and up into my back. That's when I started paying attention. They weren't hard at all, just definitely noticeable.

At 12 I noted they were ten minutes apart and a little more difficult to talk through. At 1230 I called Charlie and told him it was a baby day today! I have officially interrupted meetings twice in my entire life...once when Connor shredded the bottom of his feet with broken glass and needed stitches and now with baby news. He was glad because he and the DO were squabbling over who would take afternoon meetings and baby definitely trumped the DO's "I don't wanna" excuse! I called the midwives too, just to give them heads up, thinking I could always cancel baby alert if the contractions petered out. I was so restless, and just wanted to walk and walk...Connor and I strolled around the block once waiting for Charlie to get home. He arrived, changed and we headed out. He started timing the rushes, and
they were 5-7 minutes by the time we got home and I couldn't walk or talk...just tons
of pressure, no pain though.

We got home around 3 from walking all over the base (Connor played at the park for an
hour while I paced the perimeter), and even though the contractions were harder and
closer, I was sure I was wasting the midwives' time in calling them. Charlie started filling the birth tub while I fussed at him for jinxing it! They listened to me in the background as Charlie explained what was happening, and decided they'd come out.

Dana and Joy arrived at around 415 -- I was SOO glad it was Dana, she and I really clicked and Vanessa and I never really did -- and headed upstairs to check me out. I was running a slight fever with elevated pulse and blood pressure from the bouts of diarrhea so they made me drink two glasses of juice and water while they checked my cervix. I was so upset when they said it was only 3 cm...I felt like I was working too hard for just that! They confirmed though that I was indeed laboring, and Dana said she thought some hydration and peace was the best thing for me. I was handed a huge water bottle and told to drink it all in an hour while they went for a long walk to give me and Charlie privacy.

I sat and bounced on my big blue exercise ball while we watched the Return of the King -- just drinking water like mad. The rushes picked up, and by the time the midwives came back, everyone ate dinner except me (I heated up chicken noodle and toscana soup for everyone, and got out a loaf of French bread with cookies) I was REALLY ready to get in the tub...rushes were 2 minutes apart and really intense at 630.

I would NEVER labor without water again. I want to keep that tub and treat it kindly
the rest of its natural shelf life. I grew inordinately fond of it and named it Reliable Jane. I LOVE that tub. The contractions eased up a bit when I got in, and I just hung there, with my shoulders on the edge, free floating and rocking my body weightlessly through the water when rushes came. They spaced out, but got a little stronger; I could totally get ahead of them, moan a bit and talk to Timmy to cheer us both on.

Charlie was a total champ, sprinting up and down the stairs multiple times to fetch me things and keep Connor's videos going. Connor was happy as a clam watching videos and playing with his airplane toys, but he required some attention and mine was elsewhere for the most part. He would come up the stairs every 30 minutes or so, and call, "Mommy okay?" I would say "I'm okay baby doll, mommy's fine!" and he'd trot away happy again.

Dana came and sat in the doorway of the bedroom, then Joy, then Charlie. We'd chat and tell stories in between contractions...I was really needing to moan through them and it was so nice, having everyone just talking normally and chatting like nothing was happening. I got out once or twice to pee...I have a serious mental block about peeing in water, swimming pools gross me out like you read about because I know I'm floating in other people's bodily waste...and at 900 or so, I really needed to go, but hated being out of the water for contractions so I ran in and tried to hurry so I could beat it back. I was shaking and shivering really hard, and a really intense and for the first time painful rush hit. I cried out and the midwife came in and draped me with more towels and stroked my face to help me focus.

I got up and tried to hurry back to the tub, but Dana asked me to lay down first and try a couple out of the water. I scootched into bed on top of some chux pads and the next one hit...it was a DOOZY. That one was actually painful too and I drew up my whole body around it and just couldn't get ahead of it. I was still freezing and shaking, and Charlie walked in to hold my hand and try to help me focus again and vocalize well. I just kept saying loudly that I wanted the tub...Dana told me two rushes, then a check and I could get into the tub again. I said I didn't want a check because if I was only a 6 or 7, I would be discouraged. She said she thought I was in transition and the number didn't matter...it was just for her and she wouldn't tell me what it was. I gutted out one more of those mindblowing rushes still crying for the tub. (I would have sold Charlie to the gypsies for a dip in the tub at that point!) Charlie had to go hug Connor because he was worked up, hearing me cry out.

Dana flipped me over on my back as soon as it was over and checked. She announced, "Well, honey, no wonder you don't feel good, you're a ten!" She was withdrawing her hand when the water exploded out of me...it gushed about two feet away. That was honestly the worst moment -- we figured out later that when the waters broke, the cervix snapped tight around Timmy's head which accounted for the sharp dizzying pain. I yelled at her for breaking it (I think I said, "What the hell?? I don't like you at all right now!"), and she said she didn't over and over again, and said my treat for letting her feel was to get back in the tub.

I hustled to get back in, I tell ya. It was about 910 or so then. As I got in, the urge to push hit like a Mack truck. I never felt like that with Connor -- I think by the time I was ready to push with him, my uterus was already so tired from the powerful but short labor that the pushing contractions were never strong or helpful -- so it was really new and intense. The only way I could describe it was like throwing up downward, where you can't stop yourself and it's completely irresistible. I pushed a bit, but it took me a couple to get into a better rhythm and work with the rushes instead of against them. The only good part about them was the breaks in between. I just kept apologizing to everyone for being loud, for being mean, for bothering everyone. They laughed and told me how great I was doing and how impressed they all were with my vocals and control.

Charlie came in then and told me he got Connor down asleep on the couch, and his presence was like a huge boost. I grabbed his hands at the edge of tub and knelt with my legs spread far apart and pushed with all my might. I reached down and checked, and Timmy's head was only two knuckles' deep inside. I told everyone that and they were praising me big time. I pushed again and he came all the way down to one fingertip length away, but slipped back up. I kept my hand down there and pushed with all my might through two more til his head was right there and stinging like mad. The third one, I pushed harder than ever as I threw one leg up and balanced kneeling on the other and yelled for someone to help me. Charlie asked me what I wanted help with, which was really his only duh moment. I shot him a dirty look and didn't even bother saying, "Umm, the baby coming out of me?" He was my hero really, he just expected two more hours of pushing like with Connor, and didn't realize Timmy was nearly out!

Timmy's head popped out just then and the midwife got a hold of his neck and told me really firmly to push again. So I arched and pushed and his shoulders spun out of me really fast, giving me just a little side tear. The rest of him followed like a bullet and I saw her rolling him over and over in the water -- his cord had wrapped around his neck pretty tightly and he was a little purple. As soon as she had him disentangled, I pulled him up on my chest and just cried over him. That was 948 pm.

I'll spare you the gory afterbirth details but I did indeed bleed a little too much right after the birth so I got some meds to stem the tide.

Charlie went downstairs and laid down with Connor when he woke up at 11, and the midwives did the newborn check. Surprisingly, they said they thought he was not quite 40 weeks because he had so much vernix and a little lanugo left (according to my not so certain dates, he was 1-4 days overdue). He scored 7/9 on Apgars (the cord around his neck didn't help) and measured out 22 inches long, 15 inch head and 9 lbs 3 oz. We just laughed and chatted and had a good time...I was so glad Dana was there, it was like having a girlfriend, mom and real professional all in one to help me through.

I did so much better after Timmy's birth than Connor's until two weeks postpartum. I ended up hemorrhaging, had a course of methergine and ultimately needed a D&C at 4.5 weeks. It was sucky, but I had a wonderful MIL who flew to my rescue and both boys and I have thrived since we got my issues fixed up to some extent. Timmy is our last baby and I'm so grateful it was an ideal experience to remember fondly.

Connor's memory quilt....ah, the memories

My grandma is a pretty cool lady, a thing I had not fully appreciated til I was much older. When we were little, she was always sewing neat dresses and rompers for me and my cousins, and when I was twelve, she presented me with a Dresden Plate quilt (my favorite pattern) that had many of the scraps from those sewing projects incorporated in them; including some from a set of bathroom vanity curtains I very proudly helped with when I visited one summer. That quilt has seen much love and wear and tear...it was one of the first things I got at the Academy once restrictions on personal items let up and the whole family still likes to cuddle under it when it's cold way up here in the north of nowhere. I've patched it a couple times (constant use and carelessness as a teen were not kind to grandma's quilt) but it's very special to me, and has become more so as the years went on. In case I never said it the way I should have, grandma, you're a special lady and I'm lucky to have you and grandpa!

Aunt Diane has carried on the quilt traditions of the family to some extent and both my boys have lovely little lap quilts that, despite the fact that they were made before my boys were more than in the wiggly gassy smile stage, are oddly fitting to their personalities. Connor's quilt is soft sage green with airplanes all over it and his all consuming love of airplanes can be sated even at bedtime. Timmy is obsessed with warmth...he loves anything soft, snuggly and cuddly so the ultra soft flannel moose blanket is perfect for the first Alaskan Crean baby! Mom's incredibly soft blue afghan is one of his favorite wraps too...I come from a talented lot of women and I've always wanted something of my won to contribute to special memories with my children.

With that in mind, I always had in the back of my head that I would preserve some of Connor's special little outfits in a "memory quilt" the way grandma did for me. Not only does that cut down on clutter -- a must with the peripatetic life we lead as a military family --but it makes a strong statement about which outfits were special enough to preserve and that I treasured that time enough to memorialize in a concrete way that will not embarrass Connor when he's older. At least that's the goal; he may hate those naked bath pics, but the quilt he can show to girlfriends without fear of mortification. We had a few outfits that just tugged the heart strings every time we put them on. One of my favorites was a little teething dragon and he was so cute! See???



This also happens to be my number one favorite picture of him, and won us $100 of free stuff in a photo contest. See, the nation agrees, Connor's the cutest!

I loved this one...by the time Connor was six months old, Las Vegas was crock pot hot all the time and we were hard pressed to get him into clothes at all (we still have that problem even though it's ten below -- maybe it's the kid not the temperature?). This little soft jersey romper had a nametag printed on it that said "Hello! My name is Snuggable!" and it was one of the few we could always get him to wear without a fight. It helped if he got a plum to steal afterwards...and he was extremely Snuggable.



I wish I had a picture of his most special outfit; it was Charlie's absolute favorite and had stars scattered all over it with a patch that featured a knight and the legend "Sir Hugs-A-Lot." I think he would still be wearing it if it were possible to stuff him in it but he outgrew it by three weeks old.

I also incorporated pieces from sewing projects I did for him...slings, mei tais, his tee pee, a truck patch he just had to have because it went "vroom vroom" (his first car sound at 15 months), a packet of frog buttons he was obsessed with and plays with to this day, and honored a few other things that really meant something during his babyhood -- my wonderful friendship with my girlfriend Kellie is enshrined with a scrap from the sling I made for her, for example. I threw in a few of his special receiving blankets, some soft fleece and green cotton I used to make a changing pad for him, and even some of his favorite pajamas that he just recently outgrew. It seems impossible that my sweet baby boy is well on his way to being a preschooler and even though he's only 2.5, I've realized that those fleeting little moments of mommy bliss are going to pass so quickly -- I need to record them in a personal and hopefully very special way.

So here it is. Not a very professional job -- man, those little jersey and cotton outfits are a PAIN to sew together, they ruck up and make seams impossible to keep straight! -- but hopefully, someday Connor can see past the shoddy workmanship and realize the love and mommy angst that is in every single stitch. I already miss the baby he was, but can't wait to see what an amazing little man he will be.



I plan on doing the same thing for Timmy once we have had time to build sweet little memories like these with him. Maybe his will be a little neater, but the love poured into it will be the same. Being a mommy is such an amazing, exhilarating and ultimately heartbreaking thing isn't it?

Belated moose farting story

I found this post in my queue, and realized I completely blew posting it! It's funny (to my twisted little mind anyway) and so I thought I would share it with my blogger universe. This happened about four days before Timmy was born, which explains my otherwise inexplicable oversight...

Tonight I refilled the bird feeder. Now, I didn't know this; but apparently sunflower seeds are the equivalent of moose crack, because I barely got seated at the front window when a big old mama moose trots out of the woods with twin moose babies in tow, delicately nosed the top off the bird feeder (without even knocking it from the hanger!) and proceeds to snake a long purple tongue down in there to swipe up all the bird seed I was putting out for the migratory birds to tank up on.

I also did not know that sunflower seeds are the castor oil of the moose crowd. Only a minute or two later, she swung her butt toward the window and from a scant 18 inches away, farted loudly and wetly, spraying flecks of turd all over my front window. Ew is an understatement. She startled herself, jumped nimbly around to stare accusingly at me (apparently I MADE her spew grass-laden detritus out of her massive butt) and dropped an enormous steaming load directly under the feeder. That set off a chain reaction and both her twins felt the need to do the same under my pine trees. They trotted off after destroying my last remaining mulberry tree in the backyard. They are hungry this time of year!

Now I have three huge moose dookies and a goobed window to clean up. Once Charlie stops rolling on the ground laughing over my horrified expression, I'm sending him out there with a shovel, the hose and the bird seed. Yeah, laugh it up fuzz ball...we'll see who is laughing the next time the sunflower seed poachers come to town and crap it up again. I already pointed out that the turd flecks on the window are simply too high up for lil ol' me to reach -- moose butt is higher than you would think off the ground!

I am soooo glad I moved to Alaska!

Cute pics!

Connor is getting more out of Timmy's playmat than Timmy is, but they both love to stare at the singing star above their heads. Cross your fingers that this isn't the start of trite "what if the universe is just a grain of sand in a bigger universe" musings.


Connor is going to be Elmo for Halloween! He loves the costume but it's hot...mommy bought the deluxe extra warm costume so we can hopefully trick or treat outside.


Connor loves his brother! Whether Timmy reciprocates remains to be seen...sometimes it looks like he's plotting to do highly unpleasant things in retailation for enforced endearments.


Timmy is a very smiley baby but they're tough to catch on film. Here's the elusive 1 month old smile! Crikey, it's a big fella!


Connor plays baseball with a basketball and foam bat...and football while wearing pop's baseball cap. Whatever gets him that sports scholarship...