Have you ever thought to yourself, "I need a personal alarm that weighs ten lbs and poops at slightest pretext?" Well, I have got the product for you! This multi featured wonder will also act as an alarm clock (preset for the ever convenient hour of 5 am!), workout device, a laundry generator, and sleep apnea preventer -- after all, if you don't sleep, you don't get sleep apnea! It's BRILLIANT! All for the low low price of 7 hour labor, vaginal tear and price of year 2025 college education...can you believe it??? What a deal! But that's not all...
As an added bonus, we'll throw in the extra snuggles, wiggly smiles and adoring eyes while nursing for FREE! If you call right now, we'll even throw in hugs, "wuv yoo, mommy" declarations and chubby sweet smelling freshly bathed limbs. (May take up to two years for delivery for some bonus items) What are you waiting for? Call now!
Sigh...as tired as I am, I think I'd buy it.
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1 comment:
I'll take it!!!!! How are you?
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