Monday, July 27, 2009

Connor reading

Connor has been a little frustrated by reading lately...he can read very simple books and words, but only if they follow his known phonics practice. Otherwise, he gets angry and says the words aren't "right" and refuses to read them. I backed off of teaching it some - after all, not many three year olds can read at all, so not a huge rush to have him reading Chaucer - but came back to it with some total word concept stuff and fun word games. He found an old baby book in a box that we were emptying for Timmy, and decided to read the words. To my surprise, he could read a few at sight after only a few lessons in total word pattern work! It's odd what trips him up...sweatshirt comes out clear as a bell after only one reading, but rabbit still gives him trouble. And goat is fine, but make it coat and it trips him up. I can tell he's not just talking about the pictures though, because you can hear him talk ABOUT the picture and he would almost surely reference something being a picture of a girl or boy, without saying the word dress or coat if that were indeed what he was picking up on. This is only the second time he read this book since plucking it out of the box, and I thought it might make a handy expose of his skills. We banished the easy books he was reading for the time being, for fear of boring him or frustrating him with repetitious and phonics based learning.

I'm grateful we did all the work on letters and phonics, because it did give him a nice basis for sounding things out, but this language pattern stuff has really gotten him out of his rut, and gotten him excited about trying to read for himself again. Most importantly, he wants me to read more, so we're getting a good 30 mins of reading stories a day, if not more, and he's starting bringing books to me on a regular basis. Despite what Freakonomics has to say on the subject, reading to children has incalculable value in MY book (bad pun, shoot me later!)

Sunday, July 26, 2009

EC Odyssey

I'm kind of a hippie when it comes to most of my contemporaries, I admit. I try not to fly my freak flag TOO high, but it can't be gainsaid that 9 times out of 10 my baby is slinged or Ergo'd rather than carted about via car seat or stroller, I have no issue nursing my kids til well into toddlerhood, I cram as much organic locally grown products as I can into our diets, I've outlawed almost all disposable plastic/paper products from the house and hope to do more, and cloth diaper my baby bums. No tats, no dreds, no tie dye, but I am "hippieish" at heart. One of my holdouts, however, included elimination communication.

Elimination communication is the formalized name for something that really isn't formalized at all. Some women choose not to diaper their babies from birth, and use potties and toilets instead, trusting their close and intimate knowledge of their babies to know when pottying is needed. They learn their babies' elimination signs and emphasize two way communication between parent and baby in eliminating, thereby achieving a "diaper free baby". Some people do it part time, some full time, some only occasionally -- but it did seem to result in children happily pottying at a much earlier age than most American children. Supposedly this is common in more traditional cultures, those that haven't been invaded by convenience. I scoffed when I heard people were doing this -- after all, potty training for Connor was the seventh circle of hell, I lived in the bathroom for WEEKS -- and I couldn't imagine doing that for years, and constantly toting around a ticking time bomb of baby effluvia. Oh sure, of course, my grossness tolerance level has ratcheted up to the point where I can handle still warm handfuls of poop if not with a great deal of cheerfulness, at least without a retch and grimace. But no one wants the poo rocket to ignite in a supermarket with no warning. I imagine Carrie like scenes of fountaining body fluids. I have old carpet, but not that old!

But Timmy actually convinced me to try this little bit of craziness. About three weeks ago, he got intensely interested in potty stuff. Wanting to play in the toilet, pulling paper off the roll, slapping the toilet, trying to peer intently between his older brother's legs (much to Connor's dismay -- we now squawk about needing "pivacy!"), and pulling angrily at his diaper velcro. Several times a day I'd look around for Timmy only to find a wet chinese prefold wadded in a forlorn cover, and then catch sight of a wiggly baby butt disappearing happily around the corner. All righty, that's how we're gonna play kiddo o' mine? I finally got exasperated, and plunked him on the toilet the next time I noticed him wiggling a bit and slapping the potty. I'll be damned if he didn't pee! He smiled and wiggled; I smiled and cheered. We were hooked.

We started out slow, just trying to catch the first morning pee. It was sure to come and the relief was intense for him so it made him feel good in more ways than one. It's lovely to start the day off with a cheering session. Sometimes we caught it, sometimes we didn't. No worries, no stress -- not at ALL like when we potty trained Connor. There were tears and anger on both sides by the end, after three unsuccessful tries to even achieve one pee in the pot at age 2 years 10 months. Once we consistently got the morning pee, I started leaving his diaper off more, and taking note of his reactions and usual pee times. I noticed he would not pee when held close to me without fussing and pushing to get put down. It was very easy to just put him on the pot instead of watching him pee in a diaper and then changing him. We laughed, sang, played with cool toys and got a brotherly cheering section for all his pees caught. I am matter of fact about misses. We just clean them up, say "pee goes in the pot" and go on. My rule is if I feel even a little annoyed by it or we have three misses in a row (because of distraction of his or my part) we go back in diapers for awhile til we can pay attention better. He's at such a young age that any negativity could really screw the vibe we have going here, and remarkably despite the fact that we average one miss a day, I am *almost* stress free about it all. I say almost, because hey, you people know me -- a pee splattered floor is still not my preferred state of being. As the days have gone on, it's been better and better -- he now wears a diaper for long errands and car trips, and nights, with the occasional nap diaper if I feel like he hasn't peed enough in relation to the amount of liquids he's had. As a result, I haven't had to wash a poop diaper in almost a month, and we average 2 diapers and 1 miss a day, with some long stretches of 1 diaper and no misses at all. Many times we've come back from a 3 hr errand trip to find that he's dry and eager to potty -- once we even ventured into Fred Meyer's bathroom to potty, though he did find the big industrial toilets a tad intimidating.

We had a big breakthrough today though that really excited me. Timmy was crawling around nekkid playing with construction toys, and suddenly got a little intent look on his face. I waited to see what would happen for just a moment, prepared to swoop and throw him on his potty if it had serious intent. Much to my surprise, he crawled to his little potty, slapped it twice, and then carefully stood and maneuvered his butt on to it. I straightened out his legs and helped point his willy, and he whizzed away happily, clapping for himself. WOW! At 10.5 months, he went potty by himself with little assistance! Now of course I don't expect this to reoccur on a regular basis if at all but oh the dazzling possibilities...I can actually see him being out of diapers well before 2! And after all, that's the point of EC -- teaching your child to understand their own signals, prefer cleanliness, and communicate those needs to you, all entirely possible long before 3 or 4. This way couldn't be possibly any worse than the marathon session of pottying that it took to finally reconcile Connor to the toilet in an uneasy truce. He has only in the last two months gotten truly 100% comfortable with all aspects of pottying; Timmy seems to take to it well, and he's thriving with a stressless mommy who doesn't yet hate scraping congealed fluids off diapers for washing.

The theory goes that the way we diaper kids in this country, we actually teach babies that their diaper is the appropriate place to eliminate and since most kids don't get changed the second they go, to ignore the inherent discomfort of touching their own waste. By the time they are 2, 3 or even 4, that habit is so ingrained that when we change it we're asking them to change a fundamental and personal lesson they've learned from day one. And we're asking that of them at a time where changes of any kind come as a shock to their systems. Montessori theorized that there are periods of sensitivity at which children learn certain skills more easily, and supposedly toilet learning is easiest between 12-18 months, or at approximately the time they start walking and mastering that skill. Since we are sending Connor to Montessori school in August and I am trying to incorporate some of her methods in our home life, it only makes sense to explore this as well. I'm so relieved that *I* can actually see this as a learning journey for us to take together, rather than an unpleasant race to the finish with a stubborn little toddler blocking the way to puddle free days.

The funny part is many ladies of the older generation just look a little puzzled when I talk about this -- "well, of course babies can potty train earlier! Mine were out of diapers by 18 months..." while most of my own generation look vaguely unnerved and ask if I think I'm doing psychological damage or really training myself rather than him to be tied to a potty. If they could see my happy proud little guy clapping for himself and gazing fondly at his pee filled bowl they wouldn't worry about damage. The second argument I had a hard time with myself, but really it's remarkably easy -- easier in fact than diapers. I have a Baby Bjorn little potty upstairs and a Once Upon a Potty downstairs, as he's not yet comfortable with the really big potty. He potties and we dump and wipe it out with an antibacterial wipe. Flush it away, done. I have a couple cloth diapers stashed around to mop anything untoward with some enzyme cleaner, though Timmy considerately usually waits to "miss" on tile. He has a couple of pairs of small underwear (tough to find, but Blueberry Baby in Fairbanks came to my rescue!) and he usually goes bare butt at home just for simplicity. I'm down to one small load of diapers once a week. Amazing. Simply amazing, as I expected in quiet despair to face another epic battle of wills and years of filthy diapers to wash. I do think cloth diapering helped him keep a great deal of awareness of his elimination -- they do after all feel wet and clammy next to the skin, and they are bulkier, so they slightly impede movement and frustrate an on-the-go baby. Nice incentive to switch to a nice clean potty!

I would not have believed it if I hadn't done it myself. If you're toying with the idea, please do check out The Diaper Free Baby by Peggy Loh and diaperfreebaby.org. I didn't find these til a week in to doing this, but it's filled with valuable tips that might have kept me from a few puddly problems early on! I'm so excited and happy...and even better, willing to let this take its own course and guide him as gently as I can. That's a rare feeling for me, but one that is getting easier with time. I wish I had known of this when Connor was a baby...poor guy is my experimental kid! I'll let you know how it ultimately turns out, and when my boy finally "graduates" to independent potty status!

Friday, July 17, 2009

I wash the salad, mom

Yesterday I did the veggie pick up from the CSA. I proposed making a salad to Connor...here, kiddo, let's tear the lettuce, now let's wash it...and had lots of fun making the salad clean. We sang songs and tossed it in a colander.

I went up to put Timmy to bed before C's bedtime stories, and when I came back down, Connor says, "I wash da salad mommy!" and handed me some air, like they were clean salad leaves. "Oh wow, buddy, good salad washing!" And we hie ourselves off to bed.

Today I stagger downstairs to the basement with a load of wash. The lid of the washer is closed. Huh. I always leave that open when there's no wash in it. I open it up...there is a huge head of lettuce torn to shreds and welded to the inside of the washer, complete with laundry softener ball. I peer inside -- and there comes the little proud voice behind me: "I washed da salad mommy!"

I now have water lily-scented lettuce glued to the inside of the washer drum. I sat down and laughed until I cried. Then I cried until I laughed.

Oh buddy...you DID wash the salad.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Munch's "The Scream", Connor-style


Connor got interested in art from watching Aunt Cara's present "The Art Show" by Classical Baby. We started looking at some of mommy's art books, and he is particularly taken with Edvard Munch (he's also a Matisse fan, but says it looks "messy"). Here he is painting some beautiful limited edition Connor surrealist works and reenacting "The Scream".

If anyone is looking for a nice series, "Classical Baby" can't be beat. When we're on long trips, the boys beg to watch one of them. Connor loves the Poetry Show too, and recites several poems from it by memory -- as a result, we've been reading a few poems with each bedtime story time. Grandma Crean sent him a book of poetry called "Flamingos on the Roof" which has proven to be a favorite; Connor says it's "silly potrie" and really, that's the best kind. Oddly enough my favorites from Shel Silverstein don't seem to capture his attention. Robert Service, Robert Frost and Emily Dickinson are real favorites though, and Christine Rossetti makes him hug himself in happiness.

Timmy loves sing songy poetry and is a huge fan of exclamation points.

Uh oh...the Connorator wants me to teach him how to nurse his space shuttle to sleep. I better go...those space shuttles can have latch problems!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Denali Trip Continued

We didn't have much time for anything Friday other than dinner and an early bedtime. The dinner made me very apprehensive...it was the first time that I took both boys out to dinner since their diagnosis, but gratefully discovered that the "Salmon Bake" restaurant had a gluten free menu. Connor had elk burgers sans bun and Timmy and I shared plank grilled salmon and roasted veggies. Mmmmmmm...

The next morning we woke early and headed down the path to Denali Bluffs hotel, and then out on to the town. What a lovely walk...I can't imagine skipping it for a rackety old bus, as the cruise crowd seemed to do.


Connor loves the smell of fireweed. It's such a fleeting ephemeral moment in Alaska that these amazing wildflowers flame in all their glory. There was yarrow, primroses, wild roses, fireweed, and lovely star-like flowers I've never seen elsewhere and fade as quickly as a whisper if picked. I made Connor leave them alone despite his earnest desire to make me a "bokay" -- it would have felt like a murder to pick these delicate lacy beauties.




We drove out to the park visitor center and watched a ranger program, then headed back for lunch. That afternoon, we rested while Timmy napped and then went to the Alpenglow restaurant downstairs. It was a much nicer restaurant than the "Bake" but they too had lots of gluten free selections. Connor enjoyed some wild rice with cranberries and pesto chicken, while Timmy and I again shared some salmon. It was the first decent salmon I've had in Alaska - most is far too done for my taste - and this was truly lovely. Bright pink sockeye, done to a turn; my mouth is watering even now. Unfortunately no gluten free desserts were available; well, they did have pudding but I didn't want to risk a cross contamination issue after such a pleasant weekend, so we got some ice cream bars and went to sit on the terrace and enjoy the view as we ate our ice cream. Connor really wanted to raft, but the age limit is 12 years...sigh. Someday, Connor!


Sunday "dawned" lovely. We hustled out the door at 7, leaving our luggage for the rail pick up, and boarded a bus for the visitors' center. Once there, we watched a short film that was, in Connor's words "Awesome! Increyable!" and sat through a junior ranger program about local fauna. We skedaddled down to the bus depot and headed to the ranger station for the sled dog demo. They still use sled dogs all winter to traverse the park -- paw power rules the Alaskan winter! Connor loved the demo, but these dogs are a closer relative of wolf than I care for and we were asked to move away because Timmy was bringing out a predatory instinct in a few dogs. I like him and want to keep him, so I deemed it prudent to follow their advice.

Here's the ranger who led the sled dog demonstration...Connor has a new hero! He loved ranger Mark.


Here they are readying the dogs. Connor got to stand on the sled once it stopped -- it goes about 20 mph starting out -- and that made his day. I could not get a picture though...too many people crowding around. I was a fair bit disgruntled, but I got a pic of the dogs which is all Connor cares about.


I preferred this dog to the others. It's a tribute to "Buck" of White Fang legend and a contribution collection point.



Caught this view of the Windy Bridge as we left with the last whimper of battery power.



The trip back was harrowing. The train was delayed by a medical emergency for 2 hours, and so we boarded after 5. We were supposed to arrive at 8, so obviously we were going to be very late. We also had switch crews in Nenana and a moose blocked the tracks for several minutes...with overtired boys and much more disgruntled tourists on the train, mommy was fraying a bit around the edges. We finally got home at 11 and crawled gratefully into bed, as I shall do now.

Hope you enjoyed!

Standby for Timmy interruption

Here's a quick video of some decent Timmy independent walking. He does NOT like mommy to be far away unless a fire truck is handy, so this is the best I could do. I included a quick 3 sec clip at the end of what MOST of my video capture attempts look like. Unbelievably, that's the *best* of the eleventy million I shot trying to get decent "legs working as nature intended" shots. Sigh. Poor camera.

The great train adventure!

In the Interior, we occasionally get horrid heat...people are always surprised by this because it's Alaska after all! But no, indeed, we've been enduring a 2 week long heat wave with no air conditioning...the kids were aching for a change...and since this our last summer in Alaska, I thought it best to hie ourselves down to Denali this weekend.

They have a great Alaska resident discount on the railroad and combined with a military appreciation special at the Grand Denali Lodge, we lucked out like bandits. We departed early on Friday morning on a big blue and yellow Alaska train.

Here are excited happy boys to be underway on an honest to goodness train!




The views for the first few hours were for the most part uninspiring, consisting of endless marsh and taiga forest. The occasional startled moose, turning capacious rump, and fleeing into the reeds, enlivened the views a bit but the boys were not enthused until the last hour of our trip when the Nenana river came into view. The views were simply breathtaking -- because of the winding and steep nature of the track as it hugs the canyon walls, the train chugged slowly along as we drank in the vast panoramas.




Here's the view from our hotel room. We were booked at the Grand Denali, a steep 1/2 mile climb up the bluffs. But oh so worth it! We could catch shuttles from there to anywhere in town and into the park, but we chose to walk most of the time.


We have limits on pictures on here, and I've exceeded mine, as well as the baby' patience. Stand by for more!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

"Don't You Miss Us Daddy?" pics

Here's the boys, post gf brownie break. What a great holiday...TWO treats in one day! What better way to celebrate our country's birthday?



But one of the reasons our country is so great and has lived on to the ripe old age of 233 years is because of men and women like Daddy, protecting us in far away lands. We miss you daddy...

4th of July, Freel-style

Man, what a bust of a day! First of all, would anyone believe the thermometer would say THIS 100 miles from the Arctic Circle?


We tried to go out to the North Pole parade, but it was very hot and after a few false starts to the parade, Timmy was done with a capital D. So we came home and put everyone down for a well deserved nap. Unfortunately it was too hot for us all to sleep long...so we went headed to Fairbanks for a taste of Hot Licks ice cream and shopping at Joann's. Connor has been fascinated with birds lately; we talk about their various sounds, houses, babies, etc during our morning nature walks. So when he saw a birdhouse on sale at Joann's, I gave in to the "OH I NEEEEEED ONE MOM!" ejaculations.

Here's Connor painting his house...too bad I hadn't finished his work apron yet. Oh well, check out that manly physique!


And here's the "finished" product...beautiful, eh?


We're hoping to declare independence from the heat wave. Think of us sweating at the top of the world!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Connor singing "Hey Julie"

If he can't keep up he just subs in "dadadada". Hell, I know professional singers that do that!

Enjoy the awesomeness of Connor's cover of "Hey Julie" by Fountains of Wayne.