I wonder...

...why kids don't come potty trained?

...why children will decide to "help" one by pulling off their diaper full of poop and cleaning their own bums on your clean sheets while one is desperately trying to scramble off the toilet?

...why, when a kid is tired, they actually cry and scream that they couldn't be more awake and act like they've been shot up with a lethal methamphetamine/speed combo? Lethal for the parent, really.

...why the water is so hard here in North Pole that I could clean my clothes by beating them with a rusty bar and get the same smell effect and level of cleanliness?

...why I have to be convinced by various media outlets that I am the crappiest parent alive because I a) allow my child to own a few plastic toys, b) eat some non-organic produce when there's nothing else available or c) I either let my kid cry too much or not enough? Don't I already have enough angst without making me think I'm giving my kid a nasty case of autism by just being me?

...why, when a kid has a cold, is it his mother that gets tired and wants to lay down all day?

..why bitching is so easy to conceal as ironic musings??